On Reflection
by lilidelafield
Summary: A Katiya story. An eighteen year old katiya reflects on her life with her papa, Illya Kuryakin.


On Reflection

"I was just six years old when I first met Papa. He wasn't my Papa then, of course, he was my Uncle Illya. My real Papa was called Mikhail, and he was Uncle Illya's elder brother. My Uncle Illya found out about me, and that my parents were both dead and he travelled the length and breadth of Russia and Ukraine looking for me. Even after he found me, it seems events overtook us and it was a year before we were able to be together…although you know, we were never really able to be together even then. Rules are supposed to exist for our benefit and protection, but sometimes they are hard to understand.

I guess I understand it now, why I had to live with Winston and Cecily Solo in New Jersey rather with Papa in New York, but at the time I was just seven years old and had just lost my dedushka…sorry, I mean my grandfather. I accepted it because it was what papa wanted, and the Solos were always wonderful to me. Papa was always even more wonderful, always.

I remember my original papa. Whenever I saw him he was always tired and cross, often half drunk, and he used to make mama cry. He scared me sometimes. My second papa, Papa Illya is what I called him at first…he tells me he had never been a papa before he found me. The other day he apologized to me for all of the mistakes he made whilst I was growing up, but you know something? I can't think of a single one.

Papa and Uncle Leo were away a lot for the first few years, saving the world over and over again; but always they came to me first before going home. Papa always came to New Jersey and slept in the guest bedroom…the room we always saved especially for my papa…the first night after arriving back from a mission. Even though he usually had to go to report to Mister Waverly first of all, he always came to me before he went home and spent at least one night at the Solos. I always knew I was special to him, even when I didn't see him for a while. When he was unable to see me, he would telephone whenever he could.

I remember quite early on, one occasion I was sick at school, and there was no one at home to care for me at the time, so one of the nurses from medical at UNCLE collected me and looked after me until papa arrived back from his meeting. I was in bed, trying to go to sleep when I heard some of the female staff whispering…more loudly than they realized. They were talking about papa!

I heard one of them say;

"Poor child. Feeling ill, no one at home to care for her, and only that chilly ice cube of a father! What her life must be like with Illya I can't imagine!"

I laugh at it now, because I remember being so cross and at the time I didn't know enough English to be able to tell them what I thought! How little they all knew of him. That chilly ice cube as they called him was not like that with me. He was good fun and generous and funny. I was never bored when I was with papa, even when he was listening to his music, because he would be teaching me how to play it on his guitar, or his balalaika.

Papa, thank you for being my papa. You taught me to appreciate music, and then how to play it…I still can't play the balalaika as well as you, but I am still trying!

Thank you papa for being there all the times I was sick, for giving me your love and your time. You gave me a life I could never have dreamed of. Even when dedushka and I had to hide when I was six, I know…I knew even then how much that decision hurt you. Believe me, I knew even then it was because you loved me so much, and it made me love you all the more.

Even the bad times we had…I know there were a few of them, mostly because of your enemies; but you were always there for me. You found me and rescued me after THRUSH kidnapped me; you found the antidote and saved my life that day I was hit by a poisonous dart whilst on holiday…what a farce that holiday was! Through it all papa, you were always there for me. My rock, my savior, my papa.

When you first gave me your news, I was upset, I know. Please forgive me for that. I was scared at first, the knowledge that I was going to lose you. Even then you did not over react as many fathers would have done. Instead you hugged me and thanked me for loving you so much. That was when I realized that I wouldn't lose you at all. I haven't lost you. Instead I have gained something infinitely better. I have gained a new mother. Cara must be a very special person, papa for you to choose her, so I promise that after your honeymoon I will do my best to get to know her really well. Papa, and Cara, congratulations on your wedding day. I really hope you will both be very happy. Er…by the way Cara, it _is_ all right if I call you mama, isn't it?"


End file.
